Summer Plans Failed

Dan and I are not going to go out during the summer. He said that the more he thinks about it the more he doesn't want a GF. I asked why, and he said because the previous GF's he had didn't work and ended with a fight. And I asked him who were his last GF's and he said Lucy, and Lauren, and I asked him if he thinks I am like them. He said no, and so I said, "So you don't want to even try?" and he said well it's just that the other GF's just didn't work because he didn't want a GF. I am REALLY sad, and I really wish things had worked out, and it's really bad that this happened during exam week because now I won't be able to concentrate at all because I am so sad. I really wanted to go out with him, and at least I really wanted to try to make it work but I guess everything was just too good to be true. Everything always seems that way in my life. Like everything was fine before Ave said he was deciding between us. And then after that everything did not go my way at all, and everything before that seemed to good to be true. Then everything seemed alright, when I was forgetting about Ave, and I liked Charlie, and everything seemed okay, he told Em who told me, that he didn't like me at all, but not like that, in a nicer way. And now I was so ecstatic about going out with Dan because I liked him SO much, and I'm sorry if that makes you feel bad Dan but it's how I feel, and I liked him SO much, and I was so happy about going out with him, and now we aren't even going to try. And everything seemed to good to be true, and now it's not true. I just keep wishing that this shit hadn't happened to me ALL year long. It really sucks. ALOT. I know I might sounds like a broken record, but nothing seemed to go right with the guys I liked this year, and I felt like things were going REALLY well with Dan, and now he's not even like talking to me. I know it might be a little awkward, but I still don't really understand why he doesn't want a girlfriend. I just like him SO much, and I wish things had gone smoothly and had not torn my heart into pieces like Ave did. Don't feel bad Ave I'm completely over you. I am just really sad, and annoyed not at you Dan, just that this had to happen during review week, because now I will probably be sad all week, and don't feel bad because I would have rather you tell me sooner than later it's just the timing was awful. Ohh God I am starting to cry and I can't because I am waiting for my piano lesson, and now everybody is looking at me. FRICKING FRICK. MOTHER FRICKING, FRICK, I HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. I wish everything was different, I hope everything will get better over the summer. But I doubt it will. There is only the tad of hope that is left for me to cling on to.

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4:29:35 PM